When we become parents for the first time, for some it is natural that we form an immediate bond with our child. It was that way for me. I fell in love with my baby from conception; so by the time he was born, interaction was second nature. I so enjoyed my pregnancy, my son’s birth and watching him grow and develop. It was a joy from the very beginning. I believe that because of the early bond developed between us, it made his upbringing more carefree. There was no need for him to wonder if mom loved him, or if mom would be there for him. He just knew it! I believe that parent child bond, contributed to his self-confidence and motivation to explore, learning, friendships, and other developmental milestones.
The relationship formed with your child should start before birth, in the womb. As I mentioned above, this is an important time when parents become involved and attached to their baby (mother and father) Father’s can be just as involved in bonding with their child, as the mother, prior to birth. You’ve all heard of parents interacting and speaking with their unborn child. By the time your baby is ready to be born, your child is certainly no stranger, for you have bonded with them for 9 months. You already know each other. As such you began to look forward to a lifelong relationship, constant and stable. Below are some things to consider when developing the lifelong relationship with your child.
- Make every moment count. Teach your child, but also remember to have fun with them. You want to form a quality attachment. When you and your child bond, you also develop trust in one another. The relationship you have with your child is their first example, and will teach them what to look for in developing other significant relationships.
- Make time for your child. Read to them, sing to and with them. Listen to them and show interest in their interests and concerns. Suffice it to say that you will not be able to spend every waking moment with your child, however, by spending quality time with them, even while they are infants, you will help their development into a well grounded, self-motivated, intelligent, balanced individual, which will help them to achieve successes in life.
- Teach them to be affectionate, by being affectionate with them. Our children require affection at every age. Show them and also tell them that you love them. They will in turn learn to feel love and to show it. Very important.
- Respect. Show it, if you want to receive it. Respecting your child means to chasten them but do not deliberately try to embarrass them. You can correct them privately and also in a loving manner.
- Honesty. Do not lie to your child. Eventually the will figure it out and will loose respect for you. Always be honest with your child, this will help them to develop integrity and trustworthiness. Remember, you are your child’s first teacher. They will obtain a good majority of their learning from you.
As I stated earlier. The bond with your child begins before birth. Your relationship can often determine the direction your child will eventually go in life, be it with other relationships, their goals, determination and even emotional development. You will set the stage. If your child has confidence in you, it gives them confidence in their future also.
Food for thought…and as usual, I would love to know Your thoughts.