Originally Posted on March 9, 2012
Child Development – Instilling Respect During your Child’s Development years
Why is respect so important to parents? Is it just so that the parent can feel a sense of power over their children?
No, certainly not. Respect is very important for many specific reasons. Your child’s relationship with you will provide a basis for their attitude toward every other form of authority that they will encounter. It will become the main cursor for the way they will later view teachers, law-enforcement officers, their future employers, and family members. Believe it or not your child’s teacher will be able to easily tell when your child has been allowed to have their own way at home, because your child will show a similar attitude in the classroom. So the relationships your child has at home is the first and most important one your they will have, and those first experiences will spill over into their adult life.
Now, if you want your child to accept your values, when he or she reaches the teenage years, then she or he must develop respect for you during childhood years. Look at it this way, when your child can effortlessly, routinely, and successfully, defy your authority during, say…their first 15 years, and even worse, when they can laugh in your face and stubbornly, stomp away, flouting your leadership, they will develop a natural contempt for anything and everything you say or stand for…needless to say, they become the one in control. That is sad, and borderline child abuse on your part, because your child depends on you to prepare them for the outside world, which will be a lot less forgiving than you. Once your child develops this attitude, they will consistently view you, the parent as stupid, one whom they believe is wrapped around their finger. Not only that, they will also view you as being afraid of them. While they may never utter these words, they will feel them each time they win a confrontation with you. Face it, if your child believes you are afraid to lead them or correct them, they will not have a lot of confidence that you will in turn protect them when and if needed.
Again, your child’s respect for you is critical in the transmission of faith in you the parent, and on from their generation to the next. Simply put, a child who disdains his mother and father will be less likely to emulate them in the things that matter the most. If your child determines that you are not worthy of respect, than they will definately not respect your morals. You could be a devout Christian, but if you neglect to teach your child to show you respect, how can you teach them to respect and reverence God? They will in turn loose out on benefiting from the highest moral, your Christian faith in God, which is what will ultimately keep them though out life.
Food for thought…as usual, I would love to know Your thoughts.